I’m a writer!

I read somewhere that the definition of happiness is “moving toward your own potential” and I love that. It explains why the pursuit of goals is enjoyable, and helps me to appreciate the journey, the movement towards, and not get too hung up in waiting for the goal to be met to enjoy things. So what am I enjoying? I am fucking loony about reading and writing. They are two loves of mine that I kind of forgot about. I’ve been wracking my brains for years trying to figure out who I am and what my “purpose” is, and I feel like it was just sitting in front of me the whole time, waiting for me to come out of an alcoholic haze and flick on the lightswitch that was under my finger the entire time. WORDS. Words are power, punch, guts, heart, tears, lives, everything. They are art and they are passion. I am over here trembling at the thought of what power lies at the end of this proverbial pen.

It is so scary. It also means responsibility. But I know now that I need to write. I know that a lot of it won’t be any good for a while, and I need to be okay with that. I am suddenly overwhelmed by the desire and excitement of observation. I need to see and experience the world in a a vivid and different way if I’m going to write about it. It’s the complete opposite of getting a little tipsy and basically forgetting to notice anything at all (which I have definitely been guilty of). My memory is dim and that makes me sad. I’ve been so lucky to experience so much, and yet so foolish to dull the shine of those memories with alcohol.

I also don’t know if I’ve ever been proud to tell someone my job title. Even when I was the Deputy Direction and Associate Vice President of a University, I thought it sounded so pretentious…I just couldn’t say it. I said “university admin.” I’ve dreamed of an elevator speech I’d be proud of, and writer does that for me. Oooh…what about, “I write novels.” Even the sound of the word “novel” makes me zing with joy. I love novels! How cool would it be to have that be associated with me? ME!? It’s weird, but it is the thing that scares me the most, so I know it’s the thing that I have to do. Even if it’s terrible, I’m writing. I AM A WRITER.

First Day!

A smile a day keeps the pain and the doctor away

Today was the first day back at work this year, and it got off to a slow start, but I’m overall it was an easy transition back into the grind. I honestly think spending the past 10 days alone with myself was the best thing I could have ever done. At first I felt lonely, and missed all of you tremendously, but then a sort of deliciousness of the occasion enveloped me. I mean, when have you ever spent 10 days alone with nothing to do? I’m not sure if I ever have. I used the time to read, write, sleep, and dream. I cleaned the house. I went running. I loved my me time!

Part of that “reading” was an audiobook I got from the library called “Perfectly Yourself” by Matthew Kelly.

I actually picked it up a while back and forgot I had it, but decided to turn it on while tidying up and basically just ended up listened to the entire thing straight through. I’m not sure if the book is that brilliant, or if it was exactly what I needed to hear, but it was a huge pick-me-up, and a catalyst for me to work toward my dreams and goals. Plus, he has an Australian accent, so he says “Puwrfictly Yeersilf,” which I also enjoyed. Anyway, the thing that I need to remember was that we all have choices in our life, and we’re responsible for making the right ones. And like a lightbulb flicking on, I just remembered that I can choose to enjoy myself. After spending the past month feeling like work was a very slow-moving rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off, jerking be around without me having any control over the situation, it hit me: I picked this job. I CHOSE THIS. Now what? OWN IT! And that was pretty much all I needed to feel like my old self again, and start concocting plans for world domination.

The first phase of my plan was to purchase what is certain to be the greatest T-shirt of the entire week of January 9-15, 2012. OH YES!!!

To fully understand the joke, you may need to know that my name is Stephanie and my derby name is Rude McClanahan, but everybody just calls me Rude. For these reasons, this is the most amazing shirt I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to get it!

Before you start to think it’s all just Full House and dictatorial machinations over here, I should tell you about the negatives. Since my normal frantic routine got replaced with relaxation and smiles, I forgot to bring my cell phone and ipod to work today, …and I *might* have forgotten to brush my teeth. No biggie.

Hope you’re feeling lucky on your first day back!


I recently finished “Born to Run” by Christopher McDougall, and have been looking further into the ‘barefoot’ running phenomenon. Chris claims that nearly all our running injuries are caused by super-cushioned running shoes, and that the closer we are to barefoot, the more our form will improve. Apparently we are meant to land on our forefoot, not our heels, which is precisely what happens when one removes their  shoes.

The book also talks about how our evolutionary purpose might be distance running, which is really fascinating to me! Overall, it was a really enjoyable and inspirational read. I almost want to read it again, now.

I’m not really sure about the whole ‘barefoot’ debate, but there are a lot of really terrific runners out there who swear by it. I found lots of vids like this one:


So yesterday I thought I’d take a stab at it, and went on my first run of the year. Despite still wearing my usual shoes, I tried to pretend I was barefoot and only land on my forefoot. It felt really awkward, and I’m pretty sure I looked like a dude making fun of how girls run. It was also not as easy as I expected and my calves can feel it today! I’m going to do yoga today instead of running to let them cool off.

Since I’m too scared to run around without shoes on, and too much of an idiot to simply get a cheap canvas pair, I ordered these bad boys to try out:

They’re cute enough to wear all the time, and apparently can be used for hiking and running. I’m skeptical, but I’ll give it a shot!

Where do you stand on the barefoot running debate?