I Quit!

Just like that, it’s done. Years of wondering what if, and now a decision has been made. I am scared, I won’t lie. And I feel a lot of guilt. I feel I’ve let people down who needed me, but I know that in the end, I cannot serve them well if I’m not true to myself, and thus I’ve made my decision.

At least leaving Japan should be easy. There have been 5 earthquakes in the last 24 hours, and it might as well be 5 million – it’s too many. I’m not miserable, I’m just over it.

I’ve also developed a deep and relentless longing for bread and cheese, despite having ready access to bread and cheese. Is it really, really different from Germany? Somehow, yes. My body knows, my heart knows. Take me back to cheese and the people I love! It’s interesting because those are the things that comfort me, and they are not things that are risky. However, my soul is really torn between longing for comfort, and needing a future that is packed with challenges and excitement. I don’t want to go backwards, but I’ve got to find a balance. Here is what I know for sure: I want to keep learning, always; I have to. But, I don’t want to do it alone. I’m okay with it being difficult, but I should not feel isolated from the world, which I often do here.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs from folks who travel all the time, and I think that is not what I want to do. I think it’s an interesting life, but a lonely one. At the same time, I love being places where I can’t help but constantly learn things, simply because of the environment and situations I’ve placed myself in. So how to I reconcile this? I have no idea and guess I will have to find out. This is the jumping off point on my journey. I’ve walked to the edge of the cliff and lowered myself over by my fingertips. The only thing left to do is let go, and take the risk.

7 Comments

  1. I know you will end up exactly where you are supposed to be. I am so excited to follow your journey. Congrats!!!!

  2. I am so excited for you! And proud of you. I feel certain that bright and wonderful things await you. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

    1. Thanks everybody! It feels great to have such fantastic support! πŸ™‚

      It also felt great to just pack up a box of suits with no plan of opening it any time soon!

  3. You’re too good at things and have too many people that love you for you to go anywhere but up regardless of what you choose to do. I’m not worried for a second about where you’ll end up. This isn’t a step up or down, it’s just a new step. I’m sure you’ll see that soon enough. Congrats on your decision. πŸ™‚

  4. You are amazing! I look forward to following you on your next adventures and hope to be a part of them as well! πŸ˜‰ I am stocking up on cheese and bread this month and getting my guest room ready in case a certain person stops by πŸ˜‰ Love you!

  5. PS – the title of this blog is the exact opposite of what you are actually doing… you are not quitting – in fact what you are doing is something much more difficult … I am so proud of you on making your decision on your new beginning and new chapter in life πŸ™‚ Woo hoo! Celebration dance is goin on right now! πŸ™‚

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